Hello There...

Haven't been on here in a long, long, long time. So here's some poetry that I've written for your enjoyment, reader:

Harrowing Thoughts

like

a sparrow

jabbing

repeatedly

at an expiring

worm. 

(If something happened to me…)

They Might Find

shelves upon

shelves

of marked up

books.

Books which sit

And wait…

But my story is told

in the pictures
that cover the walls

that convey—

My father
grinning.

My mother

shaving stubble,

during his last days,

careful
of the oxygen tubes

assuring his life—

The piles
of clothes

suitcases strewn

Trinkets, crumpled up sheets of

abandoned lines,
mismatched socks

and

boots, heels, sandals (shoes upon

shoes)

guide

a path to my bed.

A bed

housing a worn

Teddy bear
and

a dog
whose devastation

will not allow her

vacation.

As she waits…

Lonely and Looney

The little man

paces 

around

inside my head, 

wandering,

whimpering a bit,

wondering

if there's a way

out. 

Okie dokie, enjoy. 

Miss Hill

DAY 2.. and still going strong.

Day 2!

It's day 2.. that's right, I made it to day 2. I'm very proud of myself.

Today I...
ran: 1.5 miles
biked: 4 miles
and lifted a bit and did some core. GO ME.

I ate...
a banana, a cup of coffee, 1 1/2 bottles of water (so far), and 4 popcorn chicken pieces and 1 bagel bite.

please note that i do plan to have a margarita and some mexican food tonight in celebration of the upcoming lenten season! But i won't be drinking alcohol after that until my birthday :) pray for me! haha

HAPPY MARDI GRAS/FAT TUESDAY!!!
-Miss Hill

The Countdown. DAY 1

Here's the issue: 2 months until graduation.

What I'm going to do: log what i'm doing each day with regards to diet and exercise.

Day 1:
ran: 7 laps walked: 3 laps -TOTAL: 10 laps (a little over 1.5 miles on our track)
Lifted arms and did core work.
rode the bike: 2.7 miles in 10 mins

eat: 1 banana, 1 cup of coffee, 1.5 servings of jalapeno kettle chips
...so far to drink: 2 bottles of water

I have a huge presentation tomorrow so hopefully I'll have more time to update later. It's almost time for lent, YAY. I'll be giving up drinking (minus St. Patty's day and my birthday, of course), ranch dressing, extra cheese on food, and I'll be dedicating myself to a running regimen. How does that sound?

Also, i got rejected from Illinois State for graduate school. 5 more schools to go!

Busily Yours,
Miss Hill

Spontaneity

Spontaneity. I need more of it in my life. I need to live my life! This realization has just hit me as my teacher assigned us, (a bunch of senoritis infected seniors), to list 40 goals for our lives. My goals were nothing too out of the ordinary: graduate, get married, have babies, get a job... etc. (Of course, here i am reflecting about school again... but what else is there right now?)


Anyway, through looking at this i realized a few things.
1. all of my "goals" are actually my "plans" and I've discovered, so far, that sometimes if they don't work out i get upset because my plans are off track.
      -one shouldn't live their life this way (hence the need for spontaneity)
2. None of my goals were anything too adventurous... this is sad!
      -I need to just pick-up-and-go on a road trip! The only problem with this idea is that I'll never get around to doing it. I'll probably back  if i plan anything out. I don't know why this makes me so nervous?


SO, I'm trying to brainstorm ideas that might help me to live my life to the fullest. I need to think random... something i wouldn't normally do.. Dye my hair? Cut my hair? Leave and drive somewhere for the weekend? Write a book? I have no idea here; i want to make my life more interesting. I want to appreciate it for what it's worth and more.


I have to note that it was pretty spontaneous when i bought a Wii last week. But that could also be looked at as unintelligent... Oh well.


I'm tired of just working on homework all the time and not having the time or desire to do anything else. So starting today, I'm going to be conscious of my life and what's going on and I'm going to try to be more spontaneous.


Wish me luck!!
In deep thought,


Miss Hill

Finally...

I am back! Okay. Let me take a breath for a second.

First, I'd like to say that this blog is my way of taking a break from life and reflecting on what's going on.
I'd also like to use it to track what I'm doing: eating, exercising, writing, reading...etc.
I want to do this until graduation as a way of carrying myself through this semester until i figure out where I'm going to graduate school and what exactly is my plan of action after i leave the place where i have lived for about 4 years now (William Penn University in Oskaloosa, Iowa).

So, here is what you absolutely need to know:
1. I am an English major (Senior)
2. I am sort-of in a relationship
3. My dad passed away when i was 16
4. I'm Catholic
5. I have a younger sister (and an older half sister and brother-in-law)
6. i want to be an English professor as well as a freelance writer...someday.

Alright, introductions are overrated. I've been reading Mary Wollstonecraft's A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Wollstonecraft is certainly one of my literary idols (if i ever had to name one). She points out that women are the way they are because we live in a male run society and we're raised by our parents to be the way we are, "but should it be proved that woman is naturally weaker than man..." So, we can't be blamed for being "less intelligent" or "less physically powerful" than men,
     "That a girl, condemned to sit for hours together listening to the idle chat of weak nurses, or to attend at her mother's toilet, will endeavour to join the conversation, is, indeed, very natural; and that she will imitate her mother...and amuse herself by adorning her lifeless doll, as they do in dressing her, poor innocent babe! is undoubtedly a most natural consequence."

Wollstonecraft simply points out all the things that women are in denial of. She even says this herself. We have to convince women that we are living (probably not as much anymore) the way we're told to live, and that we aren't necessarily happy that way. She makes a valid point by saying that, "Girls and boys, in short, would play harmlessly together, if the distinction of sex was not inculcated long before nature makes any difference."

Okay. So, she's one of my idols and she's fighting for a woman's rights...I'm not a feminist in the sense of the women who burn their bras and hate men, but i do agree with feminist theory, when it comes to literature at least. But this little schpeel just proves how seriously in to my work and reading i am. I'm always reading and always thinking. And though my advisor says this is a good thing, for some reason, i think i need to, for lack of a better phrase, get a life.

So, I'm going to work on that here. I want to feel like I'm gorgeous at graduation. i want to feel like a new girl. A girl, (or woman, as Wollstonecraft might argue) who knows what she wants and is confident in everything she does. i want my skin to look its best, i want to be in decent shape, (a similar shape to what i was when i first came to school (30 lbs ago)) and i want to feel like things are right.

And that is where I'll leave you...

Investedly,

-Miss Hill

1.

I am too sick to post today: too sick to workout, too sick to eat, too sick to read (which is the worst, as i have plenty of reading to get done).

I may or may not check back later due to the status of an impending nap...

-Miss Hill